Parties are my favorite thing to fill my planner with. I love grabbing my markers and different colored pens and scribbling in events- whether it be birthdays, weddings, graduations, etc. I love the idea of celebrating others and buying things that make them feel special. I love writing notes and showing up and dancing and eating cake… Lots and lots of cake. I love everything about celebrating.
Could you imagine if you were having a party, though, and someone came in trying to make it all about them? They brought their own decorations and their own food. They start hanging up banners over yours and rewriting their name on your cake. They bring all their friends and family, and then suddenly your party ain’t yo’ party any longer.
I would feel so hurt and confused and end up crying or leaving… or both. YET, I realized recently that in my own life, I was that person. I was the party crasher.
Whenever someone would come to me with good news or something exciting that happened in their life I would immediately think, “Well God, why aren’t you doing that in my life? What about me?” or “God, I had been working so hard for this, and THEY get it first?!”
I thought that God was like Santa and had just “forgotten” to pass by my house on his way to drop off some blessings. Not only did it make me feel like I deserved something, and God was holding out on me, but it also made me feel the need to compete with whoever was standing in front of me.
That competition always looked different. I would either “one-up the person” making their situation look smaller and mine look bigger. I would completely disregard their situation and change the subject because it made me feel less than. Or I would fake smile, play the part, and leave mad at God for him not giving me what I thought I deserved from all of my “hard work”.
To be quite honest, I was completely jipping each of my friends. The love I gave for whatever news they shared was fake and self-centered. I didn’t care what they had to say because I was too worried about comparing my own life to theirs.
In Proverbs 14:30 it says, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” If you’ve ever had something rotting in your house, it STANKS. You can smell it from a mile away and you DON’T ever want to go near it.
In the same way, when we are jealous of our sisters around us, it shows. It shows in the way you begin to treat them, speak to them, and even in your body language, and it stinks. No one wants to be around someone who is ROTTEN with jealousy. No one wants to be around a party crasher. People want to be around others with hearts at peace.
What does a heart at peace look like, though? It means a heart content in where you are in life at the moment. It means not needing to compete with others, and it means being secure among others’ successes. You are able to support others without fear that they have stolen something from you or without feeling like their success has made you a complete failure.
A heart at peace celebrates. They are the ones that show up early to decorate the party and pick up the pom poms to scream from the sidelines. They are the ones decorating the cake, sending out the invites, and throwing on the jersey. They are the #1 fan. Because you know what’s the truth about celebrating someone else? It doesn’t take anything away from you.
When you cheer someone on through their good news, it doesn’t mean that you or your current situation is not good enough. It doesn’t mean something is messed up with your life, that God forgot about you, or that you will never get your own celebration. God has a purpose and a plan for each and every one of us. Your season could look like getting everything you’ve ever desired, having to wait for it, or having to accept the fact that you’ll never get it.
Regardless of where you fall along that spectrum, God is not withholding from you. In Psalms 84:11 it says that God does not withhold GOOD things from those who are walking with him. So, if it is GOOD for your season then you WILL have it, and if it’s not then you won’t.
Either way, trust God in the process. He’s molding you to be exactly the person he wants YOU to be. So, feel free to pull out your confetti when someone comes to you with good news. Find security in knowing that God’s got your best interest in heart. Their success does not = your failure. Ask God what he’s trying to teach you through it and be ready and willing to accept whatever answer you get, even if it’s no answer at all.
We serve a good God who loves us so dearly. Never forget that.
Side note: I know you don’t carry confetti in your back pocket to throw every time someone shares great news with you, so celebrate realistically. Write letters, pay for their meal, pray for them, buy cake and put candles in it just because, shout them out on your social media, hug them tight, cheer them on when they feel fearful throughout the process, send them random texts, serve them, but whatever you do… just love them.
I pray your celebrations and love for others is wide, deep, and genuine. You rock. Don’t give up. 💕